The great British crime drama was built on the backs of good on propah geezers. From The Long Good Friday to Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, there have been harems of movies that focus on the East End boy who makes a bob or two wheeling, dealing, and stealing. In fact, handfuls of these films come out every year and they all are pretty much laid out the same: A lovable young rogue who has always lived the life of crime tries to deviate from this only to find themselves dragged into one last job. There are old pros roped in, corrupt coppers, some sort of mafia, and, more specifically, narration layered over paused scenes to really emphasis a character flaw.
If this is exactly what you expect/want from a British Crime Comedy/Thriller, then you’ll be pleased with The Hatton Garden Job because it’s got every single cliche ever. And it’s exhausting.
Based on the infamous true story, the film revolves around a bunch of thieves who crack into London’s most populous jewellery district (the titular Hatton Gardens.) The main guy, who has no name (for narrative reasons) ropes in these classic criminals to break into a bank that he has canvassed. However, on the tail of our narrator is a dodgy detective who wants a cut of the prize and the Russian mafia.
Directed by Ronnie Thompson, The Hatton Garden Job does exactly what it says on the tin and the film is just as dull as watching paint dry. What’s most infuriating about the film is that there isn’t any action or character development here to make up for the utterly naff narrative. Grumpy old men, one whipper-snapper of a bloke, and the seedy London Underground – it’s hardly ground (or wall) breaking stuff. The film just falters, and becomes dull, boring, and desperately tedious (and every other word the thesaurus could come up with.) Whilst this is a true story, it’s not an exciting one, no matter how many gangsters and pressures they try to throw in.
Matthew Goode has always been an superb actor. In fact, his talents in different and beguiling roles such as Stoker or Watchmen. He is a performer that you always suspect should have a bigger career than he does because everything he does is simply on form. However, here, he is yet again wasted as the no-named organiser of this heist. He is good but the role offers nothing meaty for him to wrap his talented chops around. Alongside him are the likes of Larry Lamb and Phil Davies as the old codgers brought in for one last job and they provide nothing new or unexpected.
The Hatton Garden Job has garnered enough fans and that’s what this job does, it scoops up a loyal base of jeering audience members. The true story is enough to bring in a crowd but sadly, they’ll leave empty handed.
The Hatton Garden Job is out 14th April
